


Feel the Music

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Life in Silence [2]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Adaptation, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Deaf, Deaf Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Friendship/Love, Guilt, Head Injury, Hurt, Loss, M/M, Music, Serious Injuries, Sign Language, Surprises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-20 21:06:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16563137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: After an attack leaves Freed trapped in silence, he and Laxus are slowly learning to move forward, but there is one part of their life that can't easily be replaced. Music was something they had shared for years, and Laxus is determined to find a way to bring it back into Freed's life.





	Feel the Music

   _They had been out celebrating his birthday, and Freed had been slightly more intoxicated than usual, taking advantage of the fact that they had nothing planned for the next few days and that it was his birthday. Unfortunately, he tended to become a little irritable when they were drinking, and he had wound up bickering with Laxus…to this day he couldn’t remember what they had been bickering about, just that it had been something stupid. He had stormed off, snapping at Evergreen and Bickslow when they offered to walk him home, wanting some time on his own to cool down because he hated arguing with Laxus. That had been the biggest mistake of the evening…if he had just let one of them come with him then maybe nothing would have happened to him…although he knew that it might just have resulted in them being injured as well._

_He had been nearly home when they had attacked. His usual awareness of his surroundings had been dimmed by the alcohol and the angry thoughts buzzing round in his head, and the first thing he had known about the trouble he was in was the glancing blow that had sent him sprawling to the ground. After that everything had been a blur of angry words, taunts, pleas and pain…his world eventually dissolving into darkness after another blow to his head, and the last thing he was aware of was the taste of copper in his mouth and the fading sound of feet running away from him._

_That had been the last sound that he’d ever heard…his last memory of what a world of sound was like, and it was tainted with pain and blood._

_It was the next morning before he regained consciousness, struggling back through layers of pain and confusion to open his eyes. It seemed to take forever, but when he had finally got them open it had been to find Laxus leaning over with a worried expression, his hand warm around his, and relief had flooded through him. He was safe. Laxus was there, and he had curled his fingers around his mate’s to reassure himself of that fact as he whispered his partner’s name._

_“Lax…us?” That was the first clue he had that something was wrong, he had felt his throat and lips move, he knew that he had spoken aloud especially as Laxus’s eyes had lit up…but he hadn’t heard it. An uneasy feeling was curling in his stomach, and he stared intently at Laxus, realising that the Dragon-slayer’s lips were moving and the uneasy feeling transformed into full-blown terror…He couldn’t hear what his partner was saying._

_“Freed? What is it? What’s wrong?” Laxus had noticed his alarm and was frowning down at him in concern, and it was only because they were so close that the Rune mage was able to make out his own name on the older man’s lips._

_“I…I can’t…” Speaking made it worse, because he could feel it, but nothing was reaching his ears. He could see fear seeping into Laxus’s eyes as he reached up with a trembling hand, brushing his fingers against Laxus’s lips before doing the same to his own. “I can’t…”_

_“Freed?”_

_“I can’t hear!” He guessed that it must’ve come out louder than normal, as he saw Laxus flinch at the sound and his eyes filled with tears. “Laxus…I…” He was trembling, shaking violently as fear engulfed him and he had just lost his fight to hold back his tears when the Dragon-slayer swept him into a tight hug. He could feel Laxus’s lips moving against his throat, and a hiccupping sob slipped out as he realised that his mate was probably whispering frantic reassurances and promises that it would be okay…but it wasn’t okay…he couldn’t hear._

    _It had been a few hours later that a grim-faced Porlyusica had sat down with them and explained what was wrong, handing the Rune mage a sheet with her diagnosis on…Traumatic brain injury…conductive hearing loss…and worse, the news that while surgery might have been able to help, there was no one that Porlyusica knew who had the right skills and it there was too much of risk for her to try. Freed had accepted it with a blank expression and apparent calmness, unable or unwilling to show the storm gathering in his chest, and even the news that he was to be taken off active status until he could adapt to this development hadn’t drawn more than an anguished glance towards Laxus._

_**_

_The first month had been the worst, trying frantically to learn enough sign language to be able to communicate…trying to adapt to a world without sound…to the fact that he couldn’t fight at Laxus’s side for the time being. That had been his biggest fear, that the Dragon-slayer would realise that he was no longer the Freed that he had fallen in love and that Laxus would move on without him, leaving him behind. It had even got to the point where he had tried to chase the Dragon-slayer away, hoping to get the pain over and done with, but as always Laxus had surprised him. The idiot had learnt just enough sign language in those first few weeks to tell him the words that he had never thought he would hear, but which he had desperately needed to hear._

**_‘You are still Freed, my Freed. Nothing is going to change that. Nothing will ever change that. I don’t care about work, or whether you can protect me or not. As long as you’re here that’s enough…’_ **

****

Six months later:

    _Silence._ There had been a time when Freed would appreciate the odd periods of silence in the house when he could curl up with a book and just read without feeling as though he was ignoring Laxus or fearing that his teammates would burst in on him. Now though he would give anything to go back to the noisy, chaotic days when it felt like he couldn’t even hear his own thoughts. He wanted to go back to the time when he could be in the guild and barely be able to hear what Laxus was saying to him because of the noise of brawling down below. He longed for the days where he could lie in bed with Laxus’s arms around him, listening to the soft rumble of the other’s breathing, the deep voice rumbling in his ears as the Dragon-slayer slowly drifted towards awareness. He missed the days when he had been surrounded with sound…

   The bruises and bandages were long gone. If he looked at his reflection in the mirror, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to see anything wrong, something that he knew that he should be glad about, but instead he found himself resenting it. He wasn’t sure whether it was because it felt wrong for his entire life to have been turned upside down because of an invisible injury, or because he wanted there to be some sign of what had happened, as though that would make it easier to accept.

    He had learned for the most part to adapt, although he knew for a fact that he would never have come as far as he had if it hadn’t been for Laxus. The Dragon-slayer had stayed by his side, never once showing the slightest sign of impatience as Freed fumbled through learning how to communicate again, in fact, he had spent hours upon hours with Levy so that he could sign properly to his partner. Laxus had been there on his lowest days when it had felt like the whole world was ending, refusing to shift even when Freed tried to tell him that he would be better off without him. He had been there on the best days…like the day when Freed had learned to adapt a rune cage around himself that would alert him to the sound of approaching people, allowing him to go on some jobs, although they had stuck to easy ones so far to be on the safe side. And it was Laxus’s words from just after the attack that he clung to, using them to keep moving forward even when the weight of what had happened seemed unbearable.

    There was, however, one loss that he had yet to adapt to. Years ago he had learned that one of the main reasons that Laxus always wore his headphones was because music helped to soothe the Dragon-slayer when bad memories stirred or his emotions became too much to bear. And he had taken it upon himself to learn how to play the piano, wanting to be able to do something with his own two hands to help the older man even before they were romantically involved. At some point, though it had become something more, something that he did for himself just as much as for Laxus; a way for him to unwind after a stressful day or job. He could sit there for hours just playing quietly to himself and feel himself relaxing, and it was even better when the Dragon-slayer would wander in and sit there and just listen to him, the others knowing not to disturb them at those times. But that had been taken from him…oh he could still hit the keys, he might even be able to play the same songs that he had once played…but he couldn’t hear it, and it hurt too much to sit there and hit the keys and to hear nothing.

_I miss it…_

****

One week later:

    Laxus paused as he stepped into the house, swallowing back the urge to announce his return. It was something that Freed had insisted on once upon a time after a few too many times of the Dragon-slayer sneaking up on him when he was engrossed in a book or lost in his music, but now there was no point…Freed couldn’t hear him, and it was a painful reminder for Laxus of what had been lost. However, it wasn’t just the usual need to swallow back his words that had stopped him. It was the gentle, soothing sound of music coming from the study at the back of the house, a sound that he hadn’t heard since before Freed’s birthday as the Rune mage had refused to go anywhere near the piano since the attack. The Dragon-slayer hesitated for a moment, wary of disturbing him, but lured by the sound and a desire to see the peaceful expression that Freed had always worn when playing.

    He should have known that it wasn’t going to be that easy. Freed was sat at the piano his eyes closed, and tears on his cheeks. His fingers moved across the keys with the same practised ease as always, memory guiding them, but the peace he had always gained from his music was gone. The Dragon-slayer faltered at the sight, a lump in his throat as he listened to Freed playing, the sound was as beautiful as ever, but rather than soothing him Laxus found that it was bringing tears to his eyes. He was fully aware of why the younger man had learned to play in the first place, and he had always been relieved when at some point it had shifted to being something that Freed did for himself as well. _And I cost him that…_ Freed had been adamant from the start that it wasn’t the Dragon-slayer’s fault, but Laxus couldn’t accept that…if he hadn’t argued with Freed that night, or if he had insisted that someone walk home with him as he should have done…then none of this would have happened.

   A loud crash dragged him back to the present, and he looked up to find that Freed had just slammed his hands down on the keys, his face twisted with grief, and Laxus was moving forward even before the first sob had escaped. He felt the younger man jump as he wrapped his arms around him, and then Freed was twisting around on the stool and burying his face against the Dragon-slayer, his hands creeping up to clutch at the back of Laxus’s shirt. Laxus could feel the sobs wracking his mate, and he hated that the only thing he could do was pull him closer and press gentle kisses to the top his head, tears of his own escaping as his gaze drifted to the piano behind them.

_I’m so sorry…_

**

    The idea had first come to him a couple of days after Freed had finally played the piano for the first time since the attack. The Rune mage was currently down in the library helping with a translation, the pair of them having devised a note system for when they were working together that no one else could even begin to understand, and Laxus had taken one look at them before retreating. Although that had left him on his own as Bickslow and Evergreen were currently away on a job with just the two of them. Trying to avoid getting involved with the brawl that had erupted below he had retreated to their usual table on the second floor and put on his headphones. He was no longer able to listen to soothing music as it reminded him too much of what Freed loved to play and what had been taken from him, and so he had resorted to his old, ear-splitting rock that he had used in the past to block out his grandfather’s voice.

 _Freed…._ Even though it was music that his mate absolutely hated, he still found his thoughts being drawn back to the younger man and with an irritated growl he yanked the headphones off, letting them hang around his neck as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Freed had given him so much, and done so much for him and Laxus wanted…needed to do something in return… _But what?_ The Rune mage had lost so much over the last few months, but it wasn’t something that Laxus could return to him, and his hands clenched at that realisation. _I can’t help him…_ He knew that one of Freed’s greatest fears had been that he was going to be left behind, but it was a fear that Laxus shared…he was terrified that one day the younger man would start to blame him for what had happened or to resent him for not being able to do more to help him.

    Sighing he leant back against the wall, only to pause as he realised that he could feel the pulse of the music coming from his headphones against his neck and his eyes widened, fumbling in his eagerness to press the earpiece against his skin. _I can feel it…I can feel the music._ It was a small vibration, but enough for him to feel, and his mind began to race. _Could he find an instrument that would give the same kind of vibrations but on a larger scale? Or stronger?_ He knew that it wouldn’t be the same as being able to hear the music as it was supposed to be, but maybe, maybe it would be enough to give his mate back a little of what he had lost. A spark of hope that he hadn’t felt for months rose in his chest, and he closed his eyes for a moment and just focused on the vibrations against his skin…it was a pleasant sensation, and he could feel it soothing him, and a small smile crept onto his lips.

_I’m going to find a way to make this work…_

**

    Freed had been relieved when Laxus hadn’t actually said anything to him about what had happened with the piano. He hadn’t even been sure what had made him give in to temptation, and he wished that he hadn’t…he had known that he wouldn’t hear anything, that it didn’t matter if he could still play from memory alone, but it had hurt in a whole different way to have that confirmed. Not even slamming his hands on the keys had given him any satisfaction, and worse the Dragon-slayer had been there to witness his outburst and the breakdown that followed, although he knew that it would have been worse to endure it without his mate’s arms around him…However, while Laxus hadn’t brought it up once, not even commenting on the fact that Freed had gone back to avoiding the study like the plague again, he had begun to act oddly a couple of days later.

    He knew that he had been distracted because he was busy working on a project with Levy, and she was still helping him with his sign language. However, usually Laxus would be there every couple of hours to remind him to eat and drink, but for the past couple of days, there hadn’t been any sign of him. And on the odd occasion that Freed had ventured into the main hall, it had been to find his mate talking intently with either his grandfather or Mirajane, and as soon as he got close, they would stop. More than once he had been tempted to point out that there was no need, after all, they could shout out the details of whatever they were talking about, and he would be none the wiser, but he couldn’t force the words out because it would mean admitting that he couldn’t hear them…still, the fact that they stopped, even though his lip-reading skills were hit and miss, especially when he wasn’t head-on had only increased his suspicions, but whenever he tried to ask they would change the topic.

   Then there had been all the lacrima calls that Laxus had been making. More than once he had walked into a room to find Laxus on the lacrima, talking to people that he didn’t recognise and the Dragon-slayer would always look a little alarmed when he walked in, so he had taken to turning around as soon as he realised what his mate was doing. Some of his old worries had begun to resurface with all the secrecy, but so far they had been largely held at bay by the fact that when they were together, Laxus was the same as always, if not a little more attentive as though to make up for whatever it was that he was doing. Still Freed couldn’t keep his thoughts on the task at hand, and more than once Levy had been forced to prod him to get his attention back onto their work.

   He finally gets some answers that afternoon when they finally emerged from the library after Gajeel appeared and literally wrenched the books away from Levy and he followed the pair into the main guildhall, only to come up short when he found Laxus waiting on him with bags packed. For a brief moment panic churned in his stomach, but then he realised that one of the bags is his, and he shoots it a quizzical look before turning and narrowing his eyes at his mate, especially as he noticed the triumphant grin on the Dragon-slayer’s face.

“What’s going on?” He asked cautiously, always wary of speaking aloud in the guild as he’s never sure whether he’s hitting the right volume or not.

 ** _I have a gift for you_** _,_ Laxus is signing to him, and Freed feels a small smile tug at his lips, back in the early days Laxus had always been hesitant about signing in public, well aware that he was somewhat clumsy about it. However, there is no sign of hesitancy now, even if that answer doesn’t really tell him anything and Freed arches an eyebrow at him as he signed back.

**_A gift?_ **

    By way of an answer Laxus closes the distance between them and hands him a pair of tickers, and both eyebrows shoot up as he sees they’re tickets to Crocus. Underneath is a piece of paper telling him that they’re going to be staying in the same inn they had used for the Grand Magic Games and that they’re going be there for a week…. leaving Magnolia today. He blinks at that before looking back at Laxus whose watching him closely, he desperately wants to say yes, but he’s meant to be helping Levy, and he glances towards her, only to find her waiting with a warm smile on her face before she signs to him.

**_Go, we can finish when you get back._ **

    Glancing around he realises that they have an audience, and he spots Mira and Makarov watching them closely and a warmth blossoms in his chest as he understood that they’d helped with this and from the lack of surprise in Levy’s expression it was clear that she had known what was going on as well. Making a note to have a word with his sneaky mate later, he refocused on the Solid Script mage with a grateful smile.

 ** _Thank you._** He turned back to Laxus then and offered him a warm smile and a small nod, knowing that words aren’t needed, which is confirmed when the Dragon-slayer sweeps him into a hug and kisses him fiercely, uncaring of their audience while Freed feels himself turning scarlet at the public display. He goes to hit the Dragon-slayer when they part, but Laxus was apparently ready for him and managed to catch his hand before it can connect, smiling winningly at him and to his disgust Freed can feel his irritation draining away.   ** _You’re not going to tell me anything else, are you?_**

“No, now come on,” Laxus had switched to speaking aloud, but slowly and clearly enough for Freed to be able to work out what he was saying. The Rune mage sighed as he caught the mulish look on his partner’s face, well aware that he wasn’t going to get anything else out of his mate when he was like this. However, with their hands entwined and the broad smile on Laxus’s face, he couldn’t find it in himself to mind too much, and he let the older man grab their bags and pull him towards the door. Although when he glanced back he caught the anxious glance that passed between Makarov and Mira, and he wondered just what this trip was really about.

_What is he up to?_

****

    They had spent the first evening in Crocus just lazing in their room, mainly to give Laxus a chance to recover from having to spend an entire day on vehicles. Seeing the Dragon-slayer suffer just for his sake had been enough to make Freed decide that no matter what his mate had planned, he was going to go along with it, not realising that, that decision would be tested the next afternoon.

    The morning had been spent wandering around the city, enjoying the sights of the city without the chaos that had been the Games and relieved to see that all the damage that had been caused by the Dragons had been repaired. Although revisiting the places where they had fought had been bittersweet for both of them, and Freed had been relieved when the older man had tugged him protectively into his side, and gently led him away. They had survived all that, just for everything to go wrong within the safety of their own town…within throwing distance of their home. Freed had been so focused on trying to suppress the memories of that night, not that he had many clear images of what had happened, that he didn’t pay attention to where they were coming until Laxus’s arm tightened around him and he found himself being brought to a halt.

   Confused he looked up at his mate, unsure of what to make of the suddenly nervous look on Laxus’s face as the Dragon-slayer met his gaze for a moment. They stared at other for a long moment before Laxus swallowed and nervously gestured to the building that they had stopped outside of, and Freed slowly followed his arm, only to feel the colour draining from his face as all thoughts of agreeing to whatever Laxus had planned flew out of his mind.

“NO!” Freed didn’t care how loud he was being, even when several people who were walking past gave them odd looks, unable to tear his gaze away from the sign that proclaimed they were at the ‘Crocus Concert House’. There was a dull ache in his chest as he stared at it…six months ago he would have been over the moon to be brought here, but now it felt like a slap to the face, and he couldn’t understand why Laxus would have brought him here of all places. The Dragon-slayer knew he couldn’t hear…he've seen how much it hurt for him to play and not be able to hear it, so why on earth would he do something that seemed too cruel after all of that. “Why? WHY!” He hadn’t even realised that he was shouting his questions aloud until Laxus gripped his shoulders and shook him gently, bringing his attention back to the Dragon-slayer. “Why?”

    Laxus hesitated for a moment before realising him and taking a step away, apparently realising that Freed was too distressed to be able to focus enough to lip-read at the moment and he waited until he was sure that Freed was watching him before replying.

 ** _I know you miss music._** Freed flinched at that, he knew that it was true, but it hurt to have it put into words, and he was about to look away when Laxus continued. ** _I found a way that can give you a little bit of it back…if you trust me?_ **The Rune mage frowned at that, well aware that there was very hope left that they would be able to fix this and unable to think of anything that could give him back the music he had loved so much, and he was about to say that when he paused. Laxus was staring at him with pleading eyes, an earnest expression on his face as he held his hand out to him and Freed swallowed hard, realising that the older man was asking if he trusted him.

    His gaze flickered back to the building, the dull ache in his chest intensifying and he wanted to turn away, to say no. _But…_ His eyes shifted back to the outstretched hand, and he sighed in defeat, before slowly reaching out and taking it, his expression softening a little as he saw the relief that filled the blue eyes as Laxus’s fingers curled around his.

“Thank you…”

**

    Inside the concert hall was magnificent, and despite the dull ache in his chest Freed found himself glancing around with curious eyes, although his confusion intensified when the Dragon-slayer led him through into the main auditorium only to discover that it was completely empty apart from a man who seemed to have been waiting for them. The Rune mage watched in confusion as Laxus stepped across to talk to the man when they reached the stage, catching the curious glances that the man sent in his direction, and feeling uncomfortable he let his gaze drift to the grand piano in the centre of the stage, longing pooling his stomach. _I miss music…_ As much as he had loved the piano they had at home, there had been a time when he would have leapt at the chance to play one like this, and he didn’t realise that he drifted closer until Laxus’s hand landed on his arm to draw his attention.

    The Dragon-slayer handled the introductions, and Freed was stunned to learn that the unassuming man in front of him was also one of the leading composers to work at the concert hall. In the past, that in itself would have been an amazing gift, but he could tell from the way Laxus was now quivering in anticipation beside him that there was more to come. His confusion increasing as he was led across to the piano, the Dragon-slayer urging him to sit down beside it and guiding his hand up to the soundboard beneath it as the composer took his seat.

“Laxus what…?” Freed cut off as the composer began to play, his mouth dropping open as vibrations started to run through the gleaming grand piano and down into his body, and his eyes shot to the Dragon-slayer who was smiling softly at him and meeting his gaze, Laxus moved back a couple of steps before signing.

**_Close your eyes…_ **

    Freed obeyed, unable to stop himself from gasping as the sensation seemed to intensify as he closed his eyes. He could feel it, echoing in every inch of his body and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling as he realised that he could detect shifts in the vibrations…the deep, overwhelming ones that came from the crescendo, and the fast repeated vibrations from trills. It wasn’t the music that he had lost…but he could feel it, the notes flooding his body and leaving behind a warm, fuzzy sensation and he was barely aware of the tears that had begun to trickle down his cheeks as he pressed as close as possible to the soundboard, desperate to soak up as much of the sensation as possible.

    For Laxus the expression of ecstasy beneath the tears was everything he could possibly have hoped for, and he knew that he owed his Grandfather and Mira a world of debt for helping him organise this, even calling in favours so that they could have privacy for this moment. Freed’s eyes were still closed, but his lips were slightly parted, and Laxus finds himself unable to look away as a soft moan escaped his mate as the song reached its finale. Even from where he is, he can feel the vibrations, and he could imagine how much more intense it was where Freed was currently sat, but he made no effort to move closer, that sensation and this moment were for his mate alone, and he was perfectly content to just watch over his mate.

**

   The performance had lasted for nearly an hour, and Freed had been a little unsteady on his feet when it had ended, and there had been a beautiful smile on his face as he profusely thanked the Composer. There was no need for Laxus to interpret because there was no way to misunderstand the joy and gratitude on his mate’s face. His own voice had been soft and a little unsteady as he thanked the man, unable to convey how much this had meant to both of them. Eventually though they had been left alone, and Laxus had turned back to find Freed staring at him with soft eyes, tears still drying on his cheeks…but they were different than the tears he had shed in the last few months, and Laxus made no effort to brush them away, even as he closed the distance between them.

   Laxus had come a long way with his command of sign language in the last few months, but seeing the open expression on the Rune mage’s face and the happy smile…the first truly happy smile he had seen in months, he couldn’t get his fingers to work how he wanted them to. Instead, he reached down and took Freed’s hand, waiting for turquoise eyes to focus on him, before gently beginning to trace letters onto the Rune mage’s skin, repeating them again and again, although Freed’s eyes had widened in understanding after the first repetition.

“I love you too,” Freed replied, leaning in to kiss his mate before glancing back at the huge organ, shivering as he remembers the overwhelming sensation of the vibrations that had flowed through him and there were tears in his eyes as he turned back to the Dragon-slayer. “Thank you…Thank you…” Freed trailed off, the lump that had formed in his throat at the enormity of what the Dragon-slayer had done for him…what he had given him…stopping him from getting any more words out, but he needed to say them, and in desperation, he sent a flurry of signs at Laxus. Blue eyes watched intently, pleased to realise that he could understand most of them now, not that he really needed to because what Freed was trying to say was written across his face and clear in the shimmering turquoise eyes that met his. With a soft smile, he stepped forward and grasped Freed’s hands, stopping the frantic movements before leaning in to kiss him gently, trying to convey without his understanding without words.

_It’s okay…I know…you’re welcome._

 


End file.
